Sometimes I don’t take my medicine as an act of defiance.
Sometimes it is a grown-up version of a tantrum.
I rarely forget to take them.
When I don’t take the pills it is almost always on purpose.
A screw it..sometimes a screw you.
I look at the pills—sometimes I glare—their ugly orange plastic tubes, mislaid warning stickers and fluctuating pill levels and think about how I just don’t feel like it. I resent them. After 6 years of daily medications I can’t tell you how many days I haven’t taken my medicine but I’ll admit is more than I’d like to admit.
I’ve never charted it but I bet it is directly connected to my hard days. There is something satisfying with putting a cherry on top of a really lousy day by saying, “Screw it. I don’t care. I’m not taking them today.”
Sometimes if I am feeling especially irritated, frustrated, or hurt by someone that’s a good reason too. It’s self-sabotaging, but what can you do?
Take your meds. You say.
You take em. I say.