Grown-up Tantrums Have Their Place

Sometimes I don’t take my medicine as an act of defiance.

Sometimes it is a grown-up version of a tantrum.

I rarely forget to take them.

When I don’t take the pills it is almost always on purpose.

           A screw it..sometimes a screw you. 

           I look at the pills—sometimes I glare—their ugly orange plastic tubes, mislaid warning stickers and fluctuating pill levels and think about how I just don’t feel like it.   I resent them.  After 6 years of daily medications I can’t tell you how many days I haven’t taken my medicine but I’ll admit is more than I’d like to admit.

I’ve never charted it but I bet it is directly connected to my hard days. There is something satisfying with putting a cherry on top of a really lousy day by saying, “Screw it. I don’t care. I’m not taking them today.”

Sometimes if I am feeling especially irritated, frustrated, or hurt by someone that’s a good reason too. It’s self-sabotaging, but what can you do?

Take your meds.  You say.

You take em. I say.

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